Chapter 21: Where is the Phoenix?

In ancient times, the bird tribes revered the phoenix, and the phoenix shared a close bond with her iron-eating beasts.

At this moment, a bluebird, transformed into an adult man, shook his head:

“I don’t know. When I woke up from a deep sleep in a cave, I was the only one left; the others vanished without a trace.”

Just half a month ago, he had awakened from a cave deep within the mountains and resumed human form.

When he emerged from the vast wilderness, seeking his friends and the Yellow Emperor tribe, he found that human society had changed beyond recognition.

Holding the golden vessels he had saved from before, he tried to exchange them for money, only to be told they were national cultural relics and had to be surrendered.

In the end, he received only fifty yuan and a ceremonial banner, feeling utterly lost...

Without money or official status, he couldn’t find work and was forced to survive by scavenging discarded waste. Fortunately, he had learned to use the internet on a mobile phone, where he saw a job posting from Shen Miao.

Seeing how wretchedly the ancient妖 beasts lived, Shen Miao, a panda, felt deeply sympathetic. She patted her small chest and declared:

“From now on, you’re with me—I, Panda, your new boss!

I’ll provide you with food and lodging, so you’ll never go hungry.”

After saying this, Shen Miao carried out a 20-kilogram sack of rice from the bamboo shoot storeroom, opened it, and showed the bluebird the abundant grains.

She also threw him a large bag of rice husks collected from others.

“You can easily eat ten kilograms a day now!”

Seeing so much fine, gleaming rice for the first time, along with his beloved crunchy rice husks, the bluebird was deeply moved.

Back in ancient times, to savor a mouthful of polished rice, the phoenix leader had to negotiate round after round with both the bird tribes and humans.

If one didn’t work hard enough, they could only eat rice husks—never a single bowl of real rice.

Now, moved by Shen Miao’s generosity, the tall, one-meter-eight bluebird was on the verge of tears:

“Boss, from now on, you’re my new leader!

I don’t mind risking my life again to secretly deliver messages for the Yellow Emperor!”

In ancient times,妖 beasts were numerous, and those with weak妖 power like the bluebird had to risk their lives just to eat a simple cornbread. But now, Shen Miao patted his shoulder:

“No need for that. Just help me deliver express parcels to Xinjiang. The postage there is outrageously expensive!

Regular couriers take days to arrive—it’s far too slow!”

With the bluebird, she could deliver parcels throughout the entire Xinjiang city in a single trip, gaining more customers and rave reviews.

Though the bluebird was unfamiliar with courier work, Shen Miao had him watch videos online about delivery methods, then handed him all the parcels with the demand to finish deliveries within one day.

With the bluebird on board, even one percent of delivery costs could be cut!

The panda nodded contentedly and resumed the day’s livestream:

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“Hello everyone! First, some good news: our store now offers free nationwide shipping, including to Hainan and Xinjiang!

We use the most advanced courier service—orders placed in Xinjiang arrive within a day!”

[!!! Is the host really this impressive? Xinjiang free shipping is such a relief, since most small shops exclude Xinjiang. It’s so painful otherwise!]

[I don’t believe the host can do this! This must be unfair competition against us in online retail!]

[??? Damn, even SF Express can’t deliver there. How do you manage it? And what if you fail?]

“SF Express? Ha! I, Panda, have the Bluebird Express—that’s the industry’s best!”

Proudly, Shen Miao patted her plush panda chest:

“Don’t worry, we pandas never lie. Liars are just puppies!

If we really can’t deliver, I’ll dock Bluebird’s pay and have him apologize to you in person!”

But then she suddenly realized she hadn’t actually paid Bluebird yet.

Feeling guilty, Shen Miao scratched her head and decided to forget about it:

“Alright, you all wanted to see me make a nest for Wangcai using raw logs. If you want to watch, remember to tip me! Let’s get started.”

As expected, the bipeds tipped generously, and Shen Miao’s round panda eyes lit up with joy. Soon, she arrived at the large courtyard out back.

There, dozens of raw logs lay scattered—results of her and Wangchai’s back-and-forth labor.

“First, we need to rid these logs of insects. Luckily, we have handy tools—

Sparrows and woodpeckers.”

Shen Miao had wanted to ask Xiaoguai to catch the birds, but Xiaoguai said one bite and the woodpeckers would be in his stomach.

However, Xiaobai and many other kittens said they could handle it. So, led by Xiaoguai, a group of cats caught many woodpeckers and sparrows.

Viewers who heard this process were stunned:

[Woodpeckers: Being targeted by a panda? What rotten luck!]

[So the host’s ‘tools’ are just freeloading birds? This panda is really stingy! Condemn the modern panda Scrooge!]

[Why does every step the host takes defy expectations but still feel oddly reasonable? *pondering.jpg*]

Meanwhile, outside, dozens of kittens slipped in through the square little door.

They gently carried dozens of sparrows and woodpeckers, beaks full of feathers and prey.

The frightened birds flapped their wings and chirped wildly, so Shen Miao squatted down, curling into a black-and-white sesame dumpling shape, and explained her request to them:

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“No empty bug hunting, and I’ll feed you rice in return.”

“Chirp chirp, why didn’t you say so earlier? Just tell us directly—we’d come without cats having to chase us!”

Startled by such a direct invitation, the woodpeckers preened themselves and then began pecking at the logs dutifully.

Soon, the bugs inside and on the logs were almost gone. After feasting on Shen Miao’s rice, the birds flew away.

She waved her panda paws in farewell, then hoisted a several-meter-long log onto her shoulder:

“Alright, now I’ll build Wangchai a guard’s nest!”

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[Wait, you’re just building it straight away? Where’s the blueprint? Don’t you need a plan first?]

[No way, host! You’re just winging it with brute strength? The logs are all different lengths. Don’t you have to saw them first?

And if you’re not using nails, you need to design a mortise and tenon joint—mark which is mortise and which is tenon, then fit them together properly!]

“Mortise and tenon joint?”

The panda shook her round, black-and-white head:

“No need, no need. The ‘rough bamboo shoot’ joints are all mine! Bamboo shoots are expensive! Wangchai doesn’t need them.”

[...]

[I’m speechless. No culture is really scary.

This is intricate work, not just brute force. I can’t wait to see the host flop.]

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Just then, everyone watched as Shen Miao, the round panda, snapped a log in half with a crisp crack.

Everyone: …holy crap!!!

Before anyone could even type a response, Shen Miao quickly planted four logs vertically into the soil.

Then, she picked up a smaller log and placed it horizontally, tapping the other end with her paw.

The horizontal log sank in firmly like a nail, fixed tightly at the base of the vertical logs.

Having done this, Shen Miao suddenly realized, her big round panda eyes wide with wonder:

“So, this is what you mean by mortise and tenon joints?

Isn’t it pretty simple?”

Everyone: ???