Chapter Fifteen: Panda, I’m Trending!

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“Yes, but he was the one who attacked me first. I was merely acting in self-defense.”

The moment Shen Miao finished speaking, she pulled up the replay of her livestream on her phone. The policewoman, Lin Xiayao, was instantly stunned.

“How do you manage to have a livestream replay for everything?”

Last time it had been an illegal hunting livestream, and this time even a late-night accident had been broadcast live?

Shen Miao said it was merely a coincidence. Lin Xiayao sighed helplessly, then watched the replay on the spot with the other officers. After discovering that the video really did support Shen Miao’s account, they nodded and said no more.

A grown man had been knocked unconscious after a little girl fought back, and he still had the nerve to accuse her of attempted murder?

He had it coming!

“No! She turned off the livestream afterward, woke me up, and then beat me unconscious again!”

“What nonsense are you talking about? Do you have any evidence?”

Shen Miao spread her hands, looking soft and adorable, with an especially innocent expression.

After all, what did the human-shaped Shen Miao’s actions have to do with her being a panda?

There was no evidence at the scene. Shen Miao also had an exceptionally deceptive appearance, and Li Yongfeng could produce no proof whatsoever.

What a joke. Shen Miao might be a panda, but she was not brainless!

She had been human once, at least! Pandas knew the law too!

When she had beaten Li Yongfeng, she had directed every single slap at the same side of his face. How could she possibly leave behind medical evidence of injury for him to use against her?

Seeing that no one believed a word he said, Li Yongfeng was furious enough to explode. He began cursing Shen Miao viciously, only to be forced face-down onto the table by the officers and handcuffed.

“Come with us to the station and give us a proper statement.”

“Why? I haven’t broken any laws! I draw blood from kittens and puppies to treat sick pets. There isn’t a single law saying that’s illegal. You can’t treat me like this!”

“That’s true. Our country has no animal-cruelty protection law. But you deceived quite a few people into having their pets operated on here! This afternoon, you nearly operated on a pet that wasn’t even ill. The amount involved was substantial enough to constitute fraud. Officer, I’d like to report him! Please investigate him thoroughly!”

There had actually been something like that?

The officers nodded and quickly led Li Yongfeng away.

Shen Miao seized the opportunity to move all the small animals he had imprisoned into her own yard.

After counting them, she discovered more than a hundred cats and dogs being kept as blood donors. More than half of them had health problems.

For those used as blood bags, Shen Miao added an extra chicken leg to their meals so they could replenish their strength. The ones used as breeding tools were also terribly weak. Some trembled and staggered with every step, as frail as the legendary Lady Daiyu. Even the panda could only shake her head and sigh at the sight.

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Thus, for the next several days, Shen Miao had to care for all these sickly little strays by herself, keeping the round little panda spinning in circles. Several times, she nearly forgot to eat her own late-night snack.

Fortunately, quite a few people in her livestream had been tipping her to buy ginseng. Otherwise, one panda truly would have been eaten out of house and home by more than a hundred hungry mouths!

Every morning, the moment Shen Miao opened her eyes, she was faced with more than a hundred fluffy creatures crying out to be fed. It was enough to drive the round and chubby panda to despair.

“You owe twenty yuan. Work for ten years to repay it!”

“You owe two hundred yuan. Work for a hundred years to repay it!”

“You’re the expensive one. You owe two thousand yuan. Once you’re well, work for this panda for a million years to repay it!”

Shen Miao stuck a million-year work-debt label onto the blue cat’s neck, then hurriedly set all the healthy furry creatures to work.

Little Good and Little White dug for ginseng in the mountains, while the other kittens and puppies helped her pack parcels and send out orders.

Wild ginseng was dug up for free, giving her a profit margin of ninety-nine percent. The remaining one percent was the shipping fee. But Shen Miao, who had been driven mad by poverty, did not even want to pay that one percent.

A single parcel cost several yuan to ship. A hundred parcels would cost several hundred yuan—enough to buy herself an extra late-night meal!

Counting on her claws, Shen Miao suddenly began to miss the phoenix who had shared coarse grain buns with her in ancient times.

If only the phoenix were here!

Back then, he had often helped her deliver letters. No matter how far away the destination was, he could arrive in an instant.

If he could deliver her parcels now, they would reach every corner of the country in an instant—and she would not even have to pay postage!

When everyone had fallen asleep all those years ago, who knew what had happened to the phoenix and the others?

If they were still alive, they could work for her just as they had in ancient times.

[ Ding! Congratulations on triggering another mission: Panda Recruitment.

As a panda who intends to conquer the world, how can you lack two demon underlings?

Please subdue at least one demon and recruit it as an employee to work diligently for you!

Mission reward: Complete Encyclopedia of Marine Animal Medicine

Time limit: Three days

Failure penalty: Loss of panda tail ]

What?

How dare this useless system threaten to take away the tail that pandas were so proud of?

Shen Miao immediately covered the white tail behind her with both paws and let out an angry roar.

Many two-legged creatures thought pandas had no tails at all. That was a misunderstanding!

They clearly had beautiful, fluffy white tails twenty centimeters long. Though no one really knew what they were for, a tail was an indispensable part of every panda!

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How dare it covet their precious panda tails!

Shen Miao raged helplessly for a long while. In the end, for the sake of her tail, she could only follow the system’s instructions and post a recruitment notice online.

After all, searching through every mountain and forest in the country for demons would be far too difficult. Posting a recruitment notice across the entire internet would be much faster.

[Assistant Wanted for House of Fluff:

Requirements:
Must obey the law and must not casually eat the animals in the house.

Must possess a certain level of defensive ability and not be easily eaten upon entering the forest.

Must have some special talent, such as flying or shapeshifting. Those who are merely exceptionally good eaters need not apply.

If you meet the requirements, please contact the panda at email address XXX. Food, lodging, and shelter included. Salary negotiable……]

Shen Miao now had tens of thousands of followers. She posted the notice through her TikTok and Weibo accounts, so it was quickly seen by a great many people.

Everyone: ???

[I was so happy when I saw the streamer recruiting an assistant to help care for the small animals. I even thought about applying. Then I read the requirements and realized something seemed very wrong.]

[Good grief, good grief. These requirements look simple, but they must eliminate ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent of humanity, right?]

[I’m dying. Is this really a recruitment notice? Are we sure the streamer isn’t a panda-hired comedian?]

[Hahaha, I’m dying. I never expected the streamer to have such a huge gap between her appearance and personality. She’s both hilarious and unbelievably strong, yet in real life she’s actually a soft and adorable little beauty. I’m in love!]

[Where are the photos? Where are the photos? Is she a cute girl or a trans woman? Let me see first!]

[She’s the real deal! Go watch last night’s livestream. The cute girl taking down that crooked doctor was incredibly satisfying!]

After that comment, many passersby on Weibo went to watch the replay in her livestream room. Before long, Shen Miao’s recruitment notice, along with footage from the previous night, climbed onto the trending lists.

A beautiful, soft, adorable girl sent a bloodsucking, unscrupulous doctor flying with one hand. The few-second clip was turned into a GIF and spread across the entire internet.

Before long, Wen Jiaojiao saw the video as well. Her eyes widened in astonishment, and she immediately called out to her parents.

“Mom, Dad, look! Isn’t this livestreaming internet celebrity Shen Miao?

“So she ran away from home and became a streamer? She already seems to have more than a hundred thousand followers.

“How did she manage that in only a few days? Don’t tell me she became one of those suggestive female streamers?”

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