Volume One: Youths Meet in Humble Times Chapter Fifty-Three: A Leisurely Conversation with Zhou Ce

After several rounds of back-and-forth, the City Lord could no longer contain himself and said, “Today, I really ought to thank you. If it weren’t for you clashing with that group, and them making the first move against you, I wouldn’t have had an excuse to deal with them and give them a taste of my authority.”

Li Yu smiled. “Actually, my master told me you’d thank me for this.”

Seeing that Li Yu had finally opened up, the City Lord quickly followed up, “Oh? What did your master say?”

Li Yu replied, “He didn’t say much—just that you also can’t stand their behavior. It’s just that they haven’t crossed the bottom line of Tianmen Town these past few days, so you’ve been tolerating them.”

After hearing this, the City Lord paused for a moment, then couldn’t help but ask, “So, do you know what role your master played in all of this?”

Li Yu asked in confusion, “Do you think my master needed to play any particular role?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just that your master never follows the usual path. I’m afraid he’s got something planned and won’t tell me—what if I end up falling into a trap?” The last sentence carried a hint of complaint, which Li Yu didn’t miss. He turned the question back on the City Lord, “I know my master is sometimes unconventional, but tell me, has he ever caused you any trouble while he’s been in Tianmen Town?”

The City Lord didn’t hesitate much after hearing this. He added, “That’s true, but I still can’t help feeling uneasy.”

Li Yu thought for a moment before responding, “My lord, I can’t say for sure whether my master has other plans. After all, I’m just his disciple—there’s no reason for me to question what he intends to do. All I can say is that my master always acts for the good of Tianmen Town. If that’s the case, then whatever he does, I believe he has his reasons. Shouldn’t you support him, too?”

His words were sound and measured, neither humble nor arrogant. The City Lord found no fault with them. Indeed, given his position, he was responsible for looking after the people of Tianmen Town. That was the duty of his office. But what if he was more than just the City Lord?

Thinking of this, the City Lord could only smile wryly to himself.

Seeing that there was nothing more to ask, the City Lord chatted with Li Yu a bit longer, then handed him a gift of thanks and sent him on his way.

Zhou Ce, having more or less settled his affairs, took his leave from the City Lord together with Li Yu.

On the way, Zhou Ce asked where Li Yu was going. Noting the time and realizing it was almost noon, Li Yu replied, “I’m going to buy something to eat and take it home. What about you, Brother Zhou?”

Zhou Ce said, “Then I’ll go with you. There’s nothing to eat at my place either.”

The two walked together in silence, feeling a bit awkward, so Li Yu tried to make conversation. “Brother Zhou, where is your hometown?”

Zhou Ce hadn’t expected Li Yu to ask him this. In the past, their conversations were mostly about events in Tianmen Town or lessons from the academy; rarely did they discuss their pasts.

In fact, Shen Xun had spoken to each of them privately about this before. Both had suffered hard lives, abandoned by their families and left to fend for themselves, only to end up living in Tianmen Town by a twist of fate. Out of respect for each other, they never spoke of the past, focusing instead on their hopes for the future and their lives in the present.

Caught off guard by Li Yu’s question, Zhou Ce was surprised. “I’m not really sure myself. All I know is that when I was little, I lived in a small courtyard and rarely went out. Later, Uncle Zhang came and brought me to Tianmen Town.”

Li Yu nodded. With nothing more to say for the moment, Zhou Ce turned the question back to him. “And you? Do you have any family left?”

Li Yu replied lightly, “No, I was also picked up by my master. If not for him, I’d have died long ago.”

Hearing this, Zhou Ce was suddenly struck by the thought that Li Yu was only twelve, three years younger than himself. Even he sometimes felt bitter when he saw others with loving families—how much more so for Li Yu? He reached out and patted Li Yu’s shoulder in comfort. “At least we can live in Tianmen Town now. That shows Heaven hasn’t abandoned us, don’t you think?”

Li Yu smiled. “That’s true. Heaven has left us a little bit of grace. But, Brother Zhou, do you know if your family is still alive?”

The question was rather direct, almost probing.

Zhou Ce was intrigued. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just a feeling. Didn’t you ask me if I had family? The way you put it, it sounds like you’re sure you still have someone out there.”

Zhou Ce was surprised by Li Yu’s perceptiveness, picking up even the smallest hints. He answered, “I know someone is still out there, but I don’t know where they are.”

“If they come looking for you, will you go with them? Or, would you forgive them?” Li Yu asked.

Zhou Ce had only discussed this with Shen Xun once, years ago, when he went to the Shen house for dinner after class. Watching the Shen family’s warmth, he couldn’t help but feel envious. Later, Shen Xun comforted him, and they touched lightly on this topic. At the time, Zhou Ce was bitter, so his answer was harsh: “Why should I forgive them? They abandoned me. Why should I go back just because they want me now? Don’t I have the right to choose? They ignored me for years, and now they want to take me back—why did they abandon me in the first place?”

But now, with time and distance, he realized his answer might not be the same. He had thought about it—if that day ever came, what would he choose? But without being faced with it, he couldn’t decide. Today, though, Li Yu’s question forced him to choose.

“I think I would still go back. If that day comes, I can’t go against my own heart.”

He then asked Li Yu, “Do you think I’m being mercenary?”

Li Yu was puzzled. “Why would I think that?”

“Because I could so easily set aside the pain of being abandoned, forgive the past, and leave with them.”

Li Yu smiled. “I don’t think you’re mercenary, nor do I think you’re wrong. I may not like learning lessons from books, but I do know this: it’s not easy for someone like you to live alone in Tianmen Town. If you have a choice that lets you live better, that gives you the warmth of family, then choosing to forgive the past is just letting go of the pain and resentment in your heart, so you don’t keep suffering. That’s only human—why shouldn’t you make things easier for yourself?”

Zhou Ce considered this. “So, you mean, as long as it’s a choice that makes your heart feel better, it’s worth making?”

Li Yu nodded. “I think so. But there’s one more thing—something my grandma used to tell me: while making things easier for yourself, don’t hurt others. That’s the bottom line.”

Zhou Ce asked, “But what if those two things conflict? Should you choose yourself, or the other person?”

Li Yu had asked his grandma this very question before. He remembered her holding him, stroking his head, and saying, “Little Fish, that’s a hard question for Grandma. Let me ask you: if your life could only save either me or the villagers, who would you choose?”

Without hesitation, Li Yu had answered, “Of course I’d choose Grandma.”

“And if your life could only save either me or the whole village?” she’d pressed.

He’d still answered without hesitation, “Still Grandma.”

His grandma had smiled lovingly, then asked, “What if there was someone else who was very good to you, and your life could only save either them or Grandma? What would you do then?”

That question stumped Li Yu, for he thought of his grandfather, who had also given him warmth. If he really had to choose, he didn’t know what he would do.

Seeing his silence and struggle, his grandma stroked his head and comforted him, “Don’t be troubled, Little Fish. There’s no perfect answer to this question. In everyone’s heart, there’s someone most important, and we all carry a scale that seems fair, but truly isn’t. All this question can measure is who’s worth your devotion, not who is right or wrong.”

Li Yu had pressed, “But how should I choose?”

His grandma replied, “Why not ask whether the other person even wants you to? Choices like this are a matter for both sides. If the other person doesn’t want it, and you force it on them, aren’t you going against their wishes?”

“But what if both of them want you to?” Li Yu asked.

His grandma seemed to think of something, her tone tinged with sadness. “Someone who truly cherishes you, someone worth giving your life for, would never put their own safety or everything they have above you.”

Later, Li Yu often pondered this question and realized his grandma had only spoken of one side—choosing based on who matters most to you, who deserves your kindness. But in reality, choices are far more complicated: duty to one’s country, the weight of life and death, even the fate of the world—these can’t be measured by the scale in one’s heart.

But that was something for the future.

In this moment, hearing Zhou Ce’s question and recalling his grandma’s words, Li Yu answered, “Someone truly worth sacrificing for would never make things difficult for you. And those who would put you in such a position—we have no obligation to sacrifice for them.”

In this respect, Zhou Ce and Li Yu were actually very much alike. Deep down, they were both pragmatists—perhaps a result of their pasts. Only what they could hold onto themselves was truly theirs, and those they cared for were few and far between.

But those few who held a place in their hearts would always have their utmost sincerity.