Chapter Thirty-Six: Professor Kettleburn, the Note-Taker

“Are you two going to eat?” Xiwen asked his two roommates, who were still fiercely “battling” as he walked back into the dormitory.

“I’ll come as soon as this game is over,” Abu replied absentmindedly.

In contrast, Mobley tossed his chess piece aside, leapt to his feet, and exclaimed impatiently, “Let’s eat! I’m starving!”

The chess piece—a tiny knight—fell onto the table, raising its little lance in protest at Mobley’s abrupt abandonment.

Xiwen glanced over the board, immediately understanding the situation.

“You’re cheating!” Abu shouted in exasperation.

“Am not!” Mobley retorted. “I haven’t eaten since last night—I really am starving!”

Their bickering continued as the three of them made their way to the great hall.

Xiwen still had a bit of a headache and wasn’t feeling very hungry. The occasional wisps of steam escaping from his ears were also attracting some attention, so he only ate a little plain food before bidding his friends goodbye and leaving the hall.

...

“Kitty, come out now—it’s time for us to go!” Xiwen called in the common room.

“Lost your cat again?” a senior Slytherin girl asked with amused interest.

Xiwen nodded helplessly. “Professor Kettleburn asked me to bring the kitten for a check-up, but she’s disappeared again.”

Watching the hands on his pocket watch approach seven o’clock, Xiwen worried he might be late. He wondered if the professor would be so angry at his failure to bring the cat that he’d simply send him away...

Back in his dorm, Xiwen was about to gather his things and head to Professor Kettleburn’s cottage when he suddenly spotted the silver-striped kitten, lazily nestling her tiny paws on his blanket.

“When did you sneak back here?” Xiwen quickly scooped her into his arms, tapping her nose as he asked.

“Meow!” The kitten protested, but her voice was so adorably soft that it sounded more like she was being coquettish.

“All right, time to go!” Xiwen cheerfully set the kitten on his shoulder, letting her soft belly press against him, her four little paws draped fore and aft.

That soft, plush sensation filled Xiwen with contentment.

“Hiss—” Suddenly, a jet of white steam shot out from Xiwen’s ear, startling the kitten, who immediately leapt from his shoulder back into his arms.

Slightly embarrassed, Xiwen spent the whole walk there massaging the kitten’s head and chin. The kitten, at least, enjoyed it immensely, though Xiwen’s hand was sore by the end.

...

“There you are! And right on time!” Professor Kettleburn was obviously impatient, already waiting at the cottage door to greet Xiwen—or, more accurately, the kitten.

“Let me have a look—this is the cat, yes?” he asked eagerly, eyeing the kitten, who had enjoyed a full session of pampering on the way.

The kitten was now sprawled contentedly across Xiwen’s right arm, eyes half-closed, purring loudly in deep satisfaction as Xiwen’s left hand tirelessly massaged her head.

Xiwen thought to himself that while petting a cat was delightful, doing so for a long stretch was surprisingly exhausting.

“Overall fur color is white, with silver markings along the back, more lustrous than a typical housecat; responds to petting much like an ordinary cat…” Professor Kettleburn produced a battered old notebook from who-knows-where, muttering as he jotted down notes with a quill of unknown origin, recording the kitten’s appearance and behaviors.

“What are her eyes like?” the professor asked, reaching out to touch the kitten’s head.

The kitten abruptly opened her eyes and glared fiercely at the professor.

“Hm, yellow irises and vertical pupils.” The professor nodded, making another note.

Xiwen opened his mouth, feeling there was nothing for him to add, and closed it again.

But though his mouth was shut, his ears were not to be restrained. With a sharp hiss, two jets of steam burst from them.

It seemed the professor only then remembered Xiwen’s presence, glancing up as he asked, “Caught a cold?”

“No,” Xiwen shook his head. “Just a bit of a headache.”

“Oh, well, then out of consideration for your health, we’ll skip the Forbidden Forest patrol today. Stay in and get some rest,” Professor Kettleburn said solemnly, leading Xiwen into the cottage.

Noticing the professor’s attention was wholly on the kitten, Xiwen couldn’t help but ask, “Professor, did you already plan to skip the patrol and just needed an excuse?”

“How can you accuse me so baselessly?” Professor Kettleburn retorted indignantly, bristling. “Caring for students is a professor’s duty! If you hadn’t begged me, do you think I’d be interested in identifying what kind of cat this is?”

“In that case, Professor, I won’t trouble you—perhaps I’ll just take the kitten back,” Xiwen replied.

“Wait, wait!” Seeing Xiwen about to leave, Professor Kettleburn panicked. “Fine, I admit it—I did want to study your cat, all right?”

“What a disrespectful little rascal,” he muttered under his breath.

Xiwen could only sigh at the professor’s antics and ultimately placed the kitten on the table in front of him for observation.

...

“From the looks of her, she doesn’t seem to be any special breed,” Professor Kettleburn muttered, frowning as he examined the kitten, unaware of how close his face was getting.

With a smack, the kitten slapped the professor across the face.

Xiwen: “...”

The professor was unfazed and even more excited. “She’s got spirit! That’s not typical housecat behavior.”

He reached out to pry open her mouth to inspect her teeth.

With a sudden hiss, the kitten blew a breath at him, trying to scare him off.

But this was the renowned Professor Kettleburn, Hogwarts’ expert in Care of Magical Creatures; his hand unwaveringly reached for the kitten’s mouth.

And so, the kitten bit him.

“Are you all right, Professor?” Xiwen asked, lips twitching.

“Not a problem!” Professor Kettleburn skillfully dabbed some white ointment on the wound. “This is nothing—I’ve faced beasts that could bite my leg off and never flinched.”

So that’s how you lost your limbs... Xiwen thought silently, at a loss for words.

“Her fangs are much sharper and longer than a housecat’s…” the professor continued to jot down notes.

Then he produced a mouse he’d evidently prepared in advance and placed it before the kitten.

“Now, let’s see how you hunt!”

“Ahem, Professor, the kitten doesn’t eat anything unclean,” Xiwen said quietly from the side. “She only eats cooked food…”

Professor Kettleburn: “...”

...

...