Volume One, Chapter Three: To Live, or Not to Live

Fifteen minutes later, Chengxu returned holding a black plastic bag and handed her the pregnancy test.

“Try it. Maybe it’s a false alarm!”

Xiang Zheng took it, her eyes flickering with hesitation, words caught in her throat, then she went into the bathroom.

The waiting was agonizing; every minute, every second, the background music from Iron Lung Singer echoed in Chengxu’s mind.

The door opened, and Xiang Zheng handed back the test.

Two lines. Positive.

She was pregnant.

At dinner, the big grocery shopper came back.

The atmosphere at the table was heavy.

Chengxu shifted the spicy hotpot that had been placed in front of Xiang Zheng and set it down in front of his future mother-in-law, Liu Chunrong.

“Whether you keep it or not, it’s your decision. I respect your choice.”

Though spoken kindly, Xiang Zheng saw through it—he was clearly unwilling to make the call and was just passing the ball to her.

She was a Libra, the most indecisive sign.

“We weren’t prepared at all. Last month was full of overtime and drinking.”

Drinking was inevitable at company team-building events.

The drinking culture was an integral part of workplace culture here.

“Besides, I’m about to get promoted. Getting pregnant now is like telling the boss straight up that I don’t want to work anymore. The market’s been bad for years; even big companies like yours are laying people off. Who would give an important position to a visibly pregnant woman?”

The word “layoff” was like a knife silently piercing Chengxu’s heart.

He also understood Xiang Zheng’s unspoken meaning—how could a career-driven woman like her be willing to just stay home and have a child?

He picked up his phone and scrolled.

“What do you mean by this?” Xiang Zheng’s irritation grew; many times before, Chengxu had been summoned away by a phone call for overtime during meals.

Was overtime more important than his girlfriend or child?

Chengxu looked up. “I made a doctor’s appointment. We should plan ahead while the pregnancy is still early.”

Xiang Zheng slammed down her chopsticks, tears welling in her eyes as she sniffled. “Are you really going to be so heartless and terminate it? You can’t wait even a moment? It’s your own flesh and blood!”

At thirty-two, Chengxu was in his prime.

His face still looked resilient, his figure hadn’t changed; Xiang Zheng had imagined how adorable their child could be.

Furry, chubby little ones always softened hearts.

Chengxu hesitated, then put down his phone, his voice softening. “Then let’s keep it. Abortion isn’t good for the body anyway, and financially, we can afford it.”

As a top salesperson and a senior engineer at a major company, Xiang Zheng and Chengxu’s incomes were impressive among young professionals in the capital.

Xiang Zheng couldn’t quite say what she was feeling. She wanted Chengxu to say something—a promise—but he hadn’t addressed the real issue.

“You make it sound easy, but what about the hardship of carrying a child for ten months? Who will take care of the baby afterward? Who will handle the education? Our colleague Sister Li is always worried about her kids—first about kindergarten, then primary school, then extracurricular classes, and when their grades slip, even more anxiety. Her husband, who never argued before marriage, now bickers every three days and fights every five.”

Liu Chunrong looked at her daughter and son-in-law locked in a tense standoff and sighed; the meal had lost all its flavor. “If you really decide to have the baby, I’ll help take care of it. We’ll find a way.”

The live-in nanny, Sister Zhao, watched carefully and chimed in, “And me too, I’m very good with kids.”

Sister Zhao’s words only made Xiang Zheng more upset.

She didn’t like Sister Zhao. Uneducated and only tolerated because she got along with Liu Chunrong, protected by her mother, she had managed to keep the job so far. But if the child were left to Sister Zhao, it would be a disaster.

“Taking care of a child isn’t just about food and clothing. My mother’s health isn’t good either and needs care.”

Xiang Zheng looked at Chengxu and wiped her eyes. “Chengxu, you’re often working overtime. When that happens, all the household burdens will fall on me. I don’t want to be trapped by trivial chores. Who says a woman must revolve around the stove and the children? I remember I said before, many women back home are the breadwinners.”